Answers to questions you never thought to ask

And now for another semi-regular segment, inspired by Gareth Keenan (The Office), who famously wondered not if he'd be able to kill a tiger armed only with a biro, but instead "Will there ever be a boy born who can swim faster than a shark?". Some readers may know that one of the Eds has a penchant for asking similarly bizarro hypothetical questions, including this corker this week, so we've decided to try and answer them, and any others that you can think up, using a bit of science...